Wednesday, February 27, 2013
To go for exchange? Or not?
Haish. Tough choice. I duno what i wan too.
Reasons for going:
- Once in a life time experience
- most of my clique ppl r gg; got companions
- if i dun go, n they went successfully, i will have to do de projects n stuff w new ppl. N i will have to find new friends which might be hard since most will have a clique.
- its taiwan, nice uh?
Reasons for not going:
- home sick, love sick
- its gonna be 21st bday for lotsa ppl. I will miss all of them, including some1's. n hey, its 21st, also once in a lifetime
- maybe cost
Seemed like de costs n benefits match >.< haish~
I really cant decide.
Bt de main factors r de modules thing, n de love/home sick thing.
N i do feel bad towards my parents cos i kinda kp spending their money n r nt dedicating time for them.
Though mum nv say much cos she knows if i dun go my mods will face prob sincr im without my frens,
I know she kinda wont wan me to go as well.
Nv thought i'll be in this dilemma.
If my frens nv tot of gg, i'll nv think of this.
Alrdy determined tt i wont go exchange cos i cant bear to leave my family.
Who knows im actually into this nw? Haish.
Secretly i hope they dont get approved. So all these wont appear.
I really cant bear to leave home
N dun wanna miss those celebrations n stuff.
Bt i will be de only one in sg facing those mods alone? Oh man, how.... >=(
Hate this laaaaaa
--Merci tout le monde--
10:14 AM
Friday, February 22, 2013
just a short post, a short reflection.
something happened today.
something silly that i did.
something that i really regretted and hated myself for doing so.
becos that thing caused us misery and sadness and anger.
and after reflecting, i saw my selfishness.
selfish in wanting to be cared for, but not standing in another party's position to think.
insensitive in jus throwing my tantrums without thinking about the context.
but at the end of the day, im grateful.
for it is this incident that really made me realised some stuff.
it made me realise the importance of that person.
how sad I felt, how terrible I felt, and how I want to punish myself and take back my actions and words.
i jus hope to do anything and everything to turn everything to be ok.
anything jus to hear "i forgive u" or "im not angry le"
and it made me realise the strength of our r/s.
there might be such stuff that booms out once in a while.
causing some panic, some tears, some anger, etc.
but at the end of the day, it'll be resolved.
both parties reflected, both parties apologized.
everything back to normal.
really, how glad. how grateful.
it was when everything returned till i realised, how great it was.
I probably took it for granted at times.
if not for these bad times, i wont know that happy can be so simple.
really so simple.
till now i keep thinking of how i felt when i read the msg, ans de phone call, and chat, with a smile on my face.
jus a simple, genuine smile.
but it means alot. really alot.
im really grateful for this r/s.
its not an easy way, but we stood strong.
n i know we will stay strong.
im really thankful.
--Merci tout le monde--
2:28 AM
