"当你知道那个人爱的不是你，
不要耍心机，做不择手段的事，也不要死死的守护这那爱情，
因为你知道那是个不可能的爱情。“

i find this so true~
though at times, there are people who proved to me that holding on might be right.
but that depends if the person u're holding on to might still have feelings for you.
if that person obviously falls for others, and dont love you anymore/at all,
i guess, it'll be better to give up, and move on, and find the right one in the future.
it hurts, but 长痛不如短痛啊～ 9:17 AM

haishhhhhh. bac to this topic again.
i guess this is my personality and its hard to change.
i will forever be in dilemmas and cant make a decision until the very last min.
n at times, i will make the wrong decision, and regret, and try all kinds of way to reject.
bad bad. n i know this time i cant do that. so i really have to think properly..

quite some time ago when this question pops up, im quite certain.
nope, not rerunning. dont wanna go thru de torture of being in exco again.
of cos, there are fun moments.
but i dislike the times where im outside n i received smses about cac stuff.
dislike the times when i open my mailbox n im kena bombed by emails.
dislike the times that i have to keep gg back to sch.
n i thought, 1 yr is enough. 2nd year, go for a slack one, 3rd year an even slacker one.
but now, ppl's talk made me rethink about it again. sighhh~

position to rerun: likely to be VPMC. Vice President - Member Clubs.
1 of them psychoing me to be President.
honestly, a bit happy and glad to be recognised that i have that ability.
n i went to think, how will it be like? am i able to cope?
i kinda feel like trying, but after 2nd thoughts, nah. its gonna be tough. very tough.
seeing how my pres is, i can only say im impressed, n i doubt i can do de same.
i had been depending on her even as a FC. there are too many stuff that I had differing opinions from her.
n there are many stuff that i did wrongly, or thought wrongly.
many times she gave me the solution and i'll go "wow, i really didnt think till that far"
so i think, P is too high a position for me le.
having to deal with the member clubs, the projects, the committee, the exco, the SAO, the AAO.
n you mus know how to write those letters, proposals, consider if they are feasible, right, etc.
goodness, and she can score so well in her studies. impressed.too impressed.
i dont see myself having that ability.
not that i have no confidence, but i know myself. so yup. i guess, jus the thought, but nah, wont go for it.

As for the position of VPMC, i think it seemed ok.
somehow, i feel i have the ability to do it and be better than the current one.
its jus whether i wan it or not.
why i wan :
1) resume. yes, this is rather ga. its for portfolio again.
for future resume. for my resume to look good.
very standard, so competitive. but its the truth.
2) apart from that, i dont mind working with some fellow ppl again.
n i think staying as part of cac exco is quite a nice thing.
n i believe i will learn more. by being ex-officio, going to concerts and events, liaising with member clubs etc.

why i dont wan?
1) im quite tired in a way. 1 yr in exco is enough. tired of the tons of emails and smses that will spoil ur wkends.
2) also, im nt intending to stay hall next year. though mayb based on leadership they can get me one,
but i kinda feel like staying at home already. dun wanna waste money on hall again.
n whats more, i might not get a gd roomie? i wont know. doubt dotty is staying too~
n if i have late meetings, i will needa cab home leh? =X that will be so waste of money?
3) duno if i can cope with studies. nt sure if this yr, my studies was affected by CAC.
i would say i did try my best, but i duno if without being in exco might make my results better.
act i think hai hao la haha. but i dont regret being in exco this year, really.
4) dance. i realised that if i were to rerun, i can forget about my dance le. really.
i think i really wont have the time for it le. having to attend meetings, and having to reply to emails etc.
n den i need time for my own work also. will i really have time for dance?
maybe not.
maybe yes too, but yups, alot more effort is needed. n i need effort in every area.
studies dance exco. am i able to?
if i really were to sign up for TYT for dance, i really have to commit and go for as many lessons a month as possible, at least 7.
if not, i'll really be wasting money. am i able to do so?
i duno. i duno if i can cope, and manage all.

well, seemed like not re-running is a better choice huhs?
anws if im nt rerunning in exco, i'll be taking up programmer or vice-chair of JDC (joint dance concert)
something that i initially wanna take in year 1.
so now, kinda switch. im taking it in year 2 instead.
but yups, i think this will be better than in exco?
i mean, position not as high and scary, but still, quite up there, if im the vice chair =)
n becos its only an event thing, i believe i have slightly more time than in exco.
i wouldnt say its easy. i believe it isnt. it has its own difficulty and tough parts too.
another experience i would say?
but i believe its less taxing compared to exco, since its only for one event.
n i shld have more time and stuff for other commitments like my dance?

wah honestly.. while blogging, i feel happier when i think of me being the vice chair eh..
i think this kinda gives me a clue on what i really wan deep inside me huhs..
maybe i shld jus go for this vice chair position thing. n i can also join subcomm of other projects,
or join member of SWC etc hahha.
not bad huhs =)
i will sure miss the times and fun and perhaps authority that i might have in exco la.
but then, i needa think of other parts too.

am i, really prepared to be in exco in another year?
am i able to take up all the roles and duties and fight on this 1 year?
can i be a good VPMC and at the same time maintain my studies etc?
am i willing to sacrifice my time and dance to be a VPMC?
or will I be happier being a vice chair and go for my dance as usual and have more time?
I need to choose one that I will be happy with.
one that I like doing, and won't mind doing.
something that i want. not cause of ppl's persuasion.
think carefully, xiaoqian. think carefully.
what is it that you wan? what is it that will give you happiness, and satisfies most of your wants?

12:30 AM

looking forward to tmr and onwards~!
tmr likely to go out w yz. thurs gg out with girls.
fri gt mcyc gathering, sat gt tuition i guess (i duno~) n then gonna go exco chalet.
sun meet some1! mayb the last time before gg tw =(
sho fast~ whooooo~
sad cos gonna miss ppl~ of cos him also la =P
but happy n excited!
but also scared that it wont turn out smooth =X
hope everything will be okay~!!!

n like so many ppl gg tw that period sia.
i wont be surprised if i meet ppl.
some nj-harmoc ppl. n gladys. o.O
hmmmmz~~

okies gonna bathe! den needa go sch le~~~ 8:46 AM

yoohoo~! im back x))
i tot i didnt post for a few days but actually i posted de day before hahha.
had a rather gd wkend! x)
though there's the unhappy event on fri, we made up for it ytd and esp today x)
ytd out for a while, and den went for drumzout with exco le.
watching percussion was fun but it was tiring after a while.
nvtheless, watched throughout until voting and went home.
didnt stay for dinner with them cos too late le~

today met early in de morn!
act not very early la, haha. but quite early =)
oh i woke up at 6plus both ytd n tdy though i slept at 12/1 plus =X
duno why~~~
anw yups. wanted to go sentosa boardwalk but realised could go chinatown for better hawker food.
so we went. wanted to go maxwell but didnt really know how to walk >.<
in the end walked to duno which food centre, n we had dimsum!
wanted to have kway chap but cant find the food centres~ hahaha.
but its ok~ we walked abit ard chinatown, n then we WALKED to bugis~!!! hahhaa.
quite amazed by our determination lol. UNDER THE HOT SUN LEH~~~
sweat like a mad hahaha. but went to aircon malls once in a while.
but yay! we successfully walked and reached bugis haha.
caught madagascar~! x) n we each got smth; he gt a shirt, i gt my books!!!
thought it was abit more ex at kino than times, so didnt wanted to buy.
plus i tot i only have $30 voucher.
but turned out i have $50 voucher!! n de books cost $49.95!
aiyo, if i go times buy,i mus use my money.
if i buy at kino, no need to pay at all. OF COS BUY LA =PPP
yay yay yay~ shall read them soon~! x))

okays, back to monday again =X
can be quite a busy wk with packed nights.
almost every night gt smth on le. no time for dance this wk.
n 2 wks ltr gg taiwan le leh!
gotta consolidate my stuff fully liao >.< keep procrastinating sia. wooops~
shall see see look look again ltr =)
wells, suddenly gt monday blues?! =X

anw, feel like cooking suddenly hahha.
mayb i shall flip thru de recipes =P
n hope i wake up at 6plus again tmr.
den can go run. n wanna go buy lettuce n ham, suddenly feel like doing some nice healthy sandwich =P
okies, tts all for tdy =D
heehee, enjoyed today x) or rather, enjoyed every day spent with u =))


10:35 PM

today somehow didnt ended very well.
at least, i felt better now, which is gd.
felt sorry to some1. made him wait so long, for an hour.
n he had to leave. n we didnt get to meet.
was so excited to meet him, after dance.
to tell him about dance. show him how i look for dance class, what i did, n give him cookies.
but de instructor went on n on. n i couldnt do anything.
n it dragged from 930 to 1015. haish~
good that i didnt waste my money but well =X
after that felt so not good. becos everything planned didnt went thru.
not a new thing actually. that always happen isn it =X
sat at the benches before raffles city, stoned, emo. pms dwelling in i guess. besides de above issue.
jus dun feel like gg home. jus feel like sitting there.
n i sat for half an hour unknowingly~

only felt better when i reached lakeside n walked home.
felt better hearing to some band songs. jap graffiti 5 =)

on de side note, baked cookies n did card for our driving instructors with kaikai tdy =)
de cookies became soft, duno why =X hope it's still ok.

n went for dance today.
girls hiphop n jazz technique. omg. jazz technique was super crazy.
de stretching r like "what?!"
n they did those ballet kind of jumps but worse than that.
n some kind of turning.
n then cartwheel?!?!? I WAS SHOCKED.LITERALLY SHOCKED.
actually initially when doing e warm up, i alrdy felt like leaving but i didnt luhs.
went on to try.
it turned out to really be what i expected.
like those very elegant guy girl dance at the back when the singer is singing slow song.
but i didnt know the warm up and techniques are so wow. not easy pls.
though quite cool la.
but if i wanna go again, i tink i gotta brush up on the techniques myself first >.<
but GHH was nice as usual =) shall stick to it as my main genre now haha.

but ouch. my back hurts. tsktsk.
sorry again dear. for making u wait for nth. n kinda irritating when i keep moaning about it after that.
but really felt kinda sad. n sorry towards u =(
but on de other hand, was thinking, i let u had a taste of what i experienced when u were late cos u overslept =P
really cant wait to see u tmr! 12:46 AM

SOOOOOOO NOISYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CANNOT TAHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
cant even watch my show properly leh.
even if i on the volume to super loud still cant hear >.<

anw was watching inborn pair.
ahhhhh! so nice!!!!
but so sad lahhhhhhh. stupid luo yun!!
weixiang and yijie were so gd de lo! =(
hope weixiang can get bac yijie again!
20 more episodes o.O
wanted to watch online but somehow decided not hahha.

quite a few stuff to do tdy.
mus do card for nat and driving instructors.
haha yes, me n kaikai decided to make cookies and a card for them =P
den thought of doing choco macadamia!
cos gt macadamia but not eating cos like dun haf much taste.
so shall try coating it with choco =P

tonight meeting nat n alv!
dan gt stuff, cantcome le =(
tmr shld be gg for dance~! suddenly got feel for it hehs x))
wheeeee~!
n its thurs~! 2 more days to wkend hooray~!! =DDD

oh yes. a thought after today's episode of inborn pair:
不要在生气之下做任何冲动的事，免得后来后悔莫及。 10:15 AM

i kinda really believe in pms now.
quite a few times that i was overly-emotional.
over somewhat little stuff.
got an explanation for the previous post, which did show that i was indeed overly sensitive =X
oh well. girls mah..
n somemore im de sensitive kind hehs. 10:32 PM

wanted to tweet, but decided to just blog.
feel that more people will be reading on twitter than blog.
so ya, shall blog instead.

just suddenly thought, 天下的男人都是一样的。
为什么你们总要这样折磨女生？
为什么有时候，就不可以只为她们着想？
我们要的不多。只要那一点点的关心，只要自私的当你们的第一。
不需要每次，不需要是你们的全部。
但请在我们真的需要你们的时候，把我们摆在第一。
可以吗？

haish.. 心寒了。
sl's right. its not easy.
n sometimes, we really have to be super understanding.
at times when there are things that we cant control, we understand.
like work, studies, family stuff, n thus cant go out etc.
yup, understood. we will walk through with you, and give in.
its ok if we dont meet, but just a text everyday at least, is gd enough to brighten up our day.
but if its things that you can dont do, and talk to us, but u chose the opposite,
honestly, it hurts..
to you guys, at that moment, it didnt seem so serious.
or rather, at that moment, you guys were more into that other things. n didnt think of us.
but at that moment, all in our mind is u guys.
when we're feeling so bad, when we say we're waiting, we're really waiting.
when you promise us something, its in our mind. we're waiting.
you guys dont know how it feels to wait.
this reminds me of dan's case.
when we say 9, we're there punctually at 9.
u can be late, but if u didnt inform, u dont know how terrible we can feel.
you guys wont know how terrible it feels when we have no other means to contact u.
dont know whats wrong. dont know if u r on ur way, or slping, or reached already.
that feeling really sucks you know. n it hurts.
so you have to understand when we throw a tantrum when we see u guys.
how you feel at that time, is much more lesser than how we feel..

haish. ytd, was mainly due to pms i think.
really jus cried for no reason.
but today, cried for smth.
and at the moment, i was thinking, must you say the truth out?
because, it really hurts when i see that sentence.
but then again, i rmb i said before, truth hurts, but its better that they say the truth than lie right?
n then i thought, would i want to hear this truth, or i really rather it was hidden from me.?
well.. i guess truth will always be the best bah, though it really does hurt..
bahhhh..
really dont make girls upset during their pms period.
it will only make things worse. much worse =(
that moment when u tell me u were playing psp, it really really hurts..
had that feeling of losing to a psp again..

9:24 PM

watching "inborn pair" now.
at a scene where the couple is in the room folding clothes, and then the child came in.
the child climbed up the bed, and the daddy reads the storybook to the child.
so sweet =)
suddenly makes me think of the future haha.
not that i wanna get married now la >.<
but well, every girl or mayb even guy, will have a dream marriage or family in their mind ba? haha.

hmm dream family~
i told my mum i wanna be housewife she gives de "huh, u wan to be housewife meh? go work la"
aiyerz =((
but i really wan leh. ok, mayb half housewife, or still work full time 9-5 kind.
but den will put in effort to cook dinner after work. haha.
thats what i hope la haha.

still duno how my house will really look like haha.
cannot really imagine de leh?
have some thoughts but hmm..
but i wan walk in wardrobe! haha.
n i look forward to having a nice bedroom~
wont be able to be as nice as "inborn pair" de la. all the houses and rooms are so small now =(
but hope to have a modern and nice house =)

i hope to cook meals with my hubby tgt.
maybe sometimes he cook, sometimes i cook, but nicer to cook together? hehs.
if not, then pack up tgt. wash the dishes together haha.
den do housechores tgt~
act might seem a bit too dreamy la.
not impossible, but mayb to sustain throughout the years will be hard.
but well! a challenge? hahha.
this kind of thing, can change de la. haha. sometimes sian, den dabao.
sometimes when there's good stuff to be rewarded for, can go out for restaurant food or what haha.

after dinner, eat fruits, sit on sofa, watch tv and chat.
mayb use com, mayb do misc stuff.
if living with parents, can still do the above.
but mayb family chat instead.
then up to a certain time, back to room and couple time? haha.
if got kids, mayb less couple time.
more of monitoring kids, teaching or playing with them etc.

every sunday, shall be family day.
will go for morning exercise.
picnic, or cycling, or fly kite, or just taking walks and strolls~
have a nice breakfast tgt, great family time.
this is kinda a must that i kinda wanna enforce or have haha.
i think it'll be very nice to have a family day together leh hehs =))

hmm~ will also wanna read stories to my kid(s) before they go to bed haha.
n will let my kids learn some skills!
music! likely to be piano? or violin also ok ba i think. or dance! x)
will see which one he/she likes the most. go for the interest =))
will not have alot of tuition! dun wanna stress so much.
but will ensure a certain standard and discipline? ahhaha.

what else what else..
travelling!!!
hope to be able to travel like, once a year or once every 2 years.
but that will mean have to work very hard usually la.
that one.. leave to when we plan next time haha.
but i believe if we work hard for it, its not impossible, hors? =P

hmm~ anymore stuff? i duno le leh haha.
roughly that's what i thought of la =)
but the one that i really wanna achieve is the part where the couple do stuff tgt hehs.
cook meals tgt, if cant then wash dishes tgt.
act can imagine either of us cooking, then the other just cook.
den look at how the other cooks, and at the same time chat tgt and share about the day's stuff =)
then for washing, 1 will do the washing of the plates.
the other clear the table, and help to wipe the plates if need haha.
then sit down at sofa after everything to relax and nua~ haha.
okays, i think it seemed abit too easy here la. too relax.
i bet there will be alot of other stressful stuffs somehow some days
n if gt children then cant le?
so ya, cannot give birth straight after marriage hahah.
but that depends on de age im getting married o.O

haha ok la. enough.
i duno why but as i typed, xiaoclar keeps appearing in my mind.
somehow thinking that she will talk to elf about this post tsktsk hahha.
but umm! no matter how the family life will turn out to be,
even if it cant be as perfect as what i dream or hope to be,
the main thing is that it is a happy family. that will do =)
enjoying the company of each other, and the family members.
having a peaceful, happy family life =)
it doesn't have to be very perfect. it doesn't have to involve alot of money.
it doesn't have to be a very dreamy classy luxurious kind.
it just have to be simple, sweet, comfortable, contented kind =) thats enough =)
i rather have a simple, maybe above average, but very happy kind of marriage/family hehs~
as long as both parties put in effort to maintain it, thats great enough heex x)
what do u think of my family plan so far? kishishi =P 10:21 AM

wah no money no money =((
all my pay not in yet! boohs~
now only left with banquet jobs?
alot of jobs available act but all wkends!!!
if i were to sacrifice, i think can earn derz.
but aye, cannot luhs. wkends too precious~
left with 2 wkends to be exact. den 3rd one gg taiwan, 4th one is the parade le.
so yups. cannot. mus leave my wkends free hehs.
i'll be spending the rest of my life working and earning money.
though now abit tight, shld still be ok when pay is in.
will pay back to parents doubly when i earn next time =)
as of now, shall treasure the time i have with my loved ones!
smth money cannot buy =))
hehs, i know i wont regret my decision.
my principle holds, haha.
do things that money cannot buy ; things that are much more precious than money.
money, isn't everything. i still believe in that =)
alrights~!
actually nth much to post today =)

wishing my frens with problems all de best and may their problems be resolved soon =(
i believe in them, that they can get over this!
i realised from jia another meaning of truelove, for couples that do quarrel quite often at some periods.
still rmb she told me that she asked her bf (or de other way round) if he thought of breaking up when they quarrel. he/she both had de ans no.
i guess, this is partly the result of love.
though at that moment you might be angry with each other, you know that its only that moment.
so you wont bring out that word. to result in smth that you will probably regret in the end.
thats good =)
hope it'll be the same for my 2 frens!

and also hope my dear roomie will be okay~
she really scared me out this morn when i saw her fb msg aiyo~

and hope some1 enjoyed n like the surprise! =)

9:38 PM

had de feel to blog now =)
jus received a call from some1.
i realised that its really good to have no expectations.
becos when the thing comes, it serves as a surprise.
n it makes you exceptionally happy =))

n yes. it gave tonight a wonderful end =)

today, i earned $12 for doing nth much haha.
supposed to do a survey, basic $6, n can earn up to $20.
but some technical prob popped out and we each took $12 instead haha.
yay~!
next time really should just go do these surveys if im in school.
though at first feel abit ps, but can earn money leh! haha.

went for band concert. ok la, nt bad =)
nth much to comment?
but wah, seemed quite long since i saw a band concert.
n yes, memories kinda came back.
kept looking at the clarinet players.
n i rmbed how our seniors (jeslyn in particular) will call us to see how they run the notes haha.
n then the tone of the clarinets. the solos.
i mus say the clarinets were really quite strong today.
seemed quite loud! awesome =D
but the songs they play abit too dull le. not much hippy songs.
but wah, really made me think of fsmb.
and there is this concert called "concert d amore" coming up.
made me so wanna go! reminds me of concerto d amore haha.
i really kinda miss de times where we played in a band together. in a concert.
those times when i was in fsmb.
those sec 3/4 times. reminiscence~

yes. today, a day that i reminisce about the past quite alot.
not just the fsmb part.
but on de way home, took 335.
n i know, as usual, after aston that stop, i will look out of the bus window =)
i think ever since sec 3, ever since that memory is formed, i had de habit of looking out of the window when 335 passes sci centre.
i have the habit of thinking of the past. reminiscing about that period.
today, part of the scene had changed.
the bus stop changed place.
the railings were gone.
bt that sitting area of the science centre is still there =)
the images, the memories, are still there. vivid in my mind.
n everytime thinking about it, i'll have a smile on my face.
a few years back, when we were separate, i like to think about it.
i always tell myself, those are wonderful memories that i dont wanna forget.
even if its over, i wanna keep those memories fresh in my mind.
because they meant too much to me.
now, we were back, but i still like to think about it.
now, i'll tell myself, those were nice memories, that should still be in my mind.
as we create more, we should still rmb the past, because they represent an important part in our journey.
things change, people remain.
part of us change, but the heart remains.
the memories stay, as vivid as always.
I wont forget those times. n i will visit them often.
because i wanna remind myself, this journey isnt easy.
n i wanna remember how simple it can be.
sweet, simple love. smth that everybody wants to achieve, but nt easy to achieve.
esp as we grow up, its really not easy.
thats why i say, sec sch, is really the best.
act not jus r/s. frens. lifestyle. everything. BEST. =)

xiaoclar says, as we reminisce too much, it'll become self-destruction.
true to some extent, but this den now depends on you.
how you allow it to destruct you.
if you stay firm, knowing that its over, and just wanna keep those memories and reminisce them once in a while, its fine =)
but if there's still smth lingering there, you know that it can destroy yourself.
becos u're not moving on. u're using the memories as an excuse to return back.
yes, that's not good.
when we know that its impossible, we need to learn to move on.
there are lots of unpredictable things in life.
mine, was an unpredictable one.
i learnt to move on. i had the intention to. i managed to.
but smth happened, and pulled me back. but im proud of myself.
becos at that point in time, i know im trying to move on.
im nt looking back at the memories to try to make myself go back.
im nt looking back at the memories and whining about how im unable to return, and feel sad everytime.
i face it with a smile. a smile that reminds me, its a good memory, its awesome. but its the past.
i can look back and smile, but i needa move forward too.
i cant be stuck there.
xiaoclar, i hope you managed to overcome this.
i hope u managed to move on. such that when u look back, you will only smile n say,
that's a good past, that i will put at the back of my mind.
dont forget it, bt dont let it obstruct your future path too =)
let it become a nice memory at the back of your mind =)

wow! so much said =)
act i wanna post smth abt the past few days but to be honest i kinda forgot what i did.
out with est and alvin n yz ytd?
oh n supper the night before with alvin yz and sl! x) awesomest supper ever haha =D
nice cockles =D n finally sat alvin's car haha.
though his parallel parking brought him quite some horns from ppl =X
bt not bad overall la! =))

hmm yups! i think nth to blog le bahs~
last test for some1 tmr! all the best to him~!!!
n hope his block leave on last wk july/first wk aug is true!!!!
if yes den it's gonna be soooooo awesome x) wheeee~!
last tough wk for him at cnb. or rather, last day tmr le!
though only can see him on mayb sun, still looking forward to it!! =)) jiayou~!!! =D
thanks dear for the call, really happy to receive it and hear your voice =)
and umm, its tough, but not anymore when you understood it and feels gaga for me =)
so happy to feel your concern. so happy that you know how i feel haha.
though i know now this shld be a "duh" kind of thing, still feel happy! heehee~
its tough on me, but i know its tough on you too, though its different kind of toughness.
but its ok! ur last wk at cnb le! =) 
n u know, i was thinking jus now n i realised, i'd accompanied you through ur NS stage of life le =)
from when you entered BMT, till ur commissioning which is coming soon haha x) YAY!  12:15 AM

In HSS waiting to do some survey now.
Get money for doing survey hmm~
ok la. Haha. Since i kinda have nth to do and is in sch.

Haish. Feeling quite affected by the fin office lady.
Can sense her anger in ytd's email.
Den today she sounded quite solemn kind.
The happy okok mood i faced for abt 3 months is gone :(
Haish. Kinda my fault for submitting w mistakes la.
Bt i really didnt know the amount was nt in yet. I always tot it was in alrdy :(
N i kinda realised its really not her fault for de delay. Though i duno is it SAO or wat, bt uhs~ well..
Nt for me to go and guess n settle.
I cant do it anyway~
Bt haish. I hope i wont give her any mistakes uhs.
I dun like that scared feeling When gg to her office :(
N im nw having those scared n stressed feeling when i think abt FC stuff again tsktsk.

Dun like this feeling really..
Dun like last night, n this morn gt a v sian feel too.
Feeling troubled over cac stuff.
Needa complete some report n FPB stuff.
Den thinking n planning abt wkends.
Hope to change meeting time or even day bt duno if its possible.
Den troubled over work. No work to do bt abit no feel for yz's restaurant also? =X
Bt really no work n no money le. Haish.
Or mayb i shld try those promoting stuff? Huhs bt i really think im nt up to it.
N ya, alot of event jobs r inclusive of wkends.
Bt nah, wkends too precious for me now le, so cant luhs!! >.<
Haish im so troublesome right boohs~

Jus did one qn out of de whole survey. Smth cropped up oops~ waiting waiting~

n im still feeling v sian :(( hope tmr's teoheng can cheer me up?
Bah, gonna spend money again~
Boohs~
may my mood be better soon~
12:25 PM

i need to slowly get back my discipline.
needa start doing and clearing stuff le. had been procrastinating on quite some stuff.
keep dragging them =(
cac stuff. cards. taiwan trip. argh.
needa be more disciplined!
planner should be out again.
have to write what i needa do, when im gonna do them etc.
what im gonna do each day.
yesh. rarrr~!

n whee~! have u all seen some1's fb dp? haha.
go like go like, the awesome photographer is the author of this blog =D lalalala~
so artistic and cool right wheeeeee~~~
jiayou for this last tough wk my dear~! x) love u ~ 12:56 AM

heya! a couple of things to blog about.
but actually, the feel kinda gone now :O
but shall still blog as much as i can rmb bahs!
wah, feel like i have alot of things on hand lehs >.<
tsktsk. scared i forget to do any. bahhhs =(

1) went to collect tw air ticket tdy. realised that its de plane that's expensive!
thats why total paid quite alot for airtic plus hotel, compared to frens =X
but oh well, too late to regret now~
jus hope we'll really enjoy~!

2) wanted to have porn's but didnt in de end, boohs~

3) bad service attitude of a staff at the lucky dessert stall at jp!
the one beside sharetea.
firstly, its so obvious that i wrote 2 lines.  have no idea why she didnt see it.
ok, nvm. so i asked for it when she came bac again to return the change.
but because they dont have enough coins, she came back to ask if we have 25cents.
at the same time i told her i ordered another H12 that wasnt delivered.
she said ok,she'll helpme check.
n i observed her.
she went back to the counter, took the change, return us, and after that, she just kept quiet, do other stuff.
like hello? i tot u said u'd help me check? bt u didnt even do anything.
didnt even bother to ask at all? tsktsk!
quite pissed alrdy. so went forward to find her.
stood infront of her, n the basic reaction should be "oh sorry! i help u check"
but apparently she gt some STM, n when i stood infront of her,
she seemed to ignore me.
she was looking at the receipt and checking for another table. like hello?!?! i already came to find you n this is how u serve me?! goodness pls. pissed level increased by alot alot.
at the same time, i feel a guy looking at me.
so i turned, and he was looking at me, bt he also nv say anything =X
but at least when i talk to him about it, he straight away help me check.
n when he wanna check, de girl straight away wanna chap and ask what thing, den help to find -.-
i seriously duno wat she's thinking pls.
n after i saw that i wrote 2 desserts, i went back to my seat.
n the guy serve me after that, apologizing n stuff. valid. i thanked him n had my dessert.
but still, mood slightly affected by the woman. totally too much~!
if i am the manager, im so gonna sack her >.<

4) the woman in the lift.
gt a woman and her daughter in the lift, and we entered thereafter.
they also alighting at 7th storey.
but when its about to reach, the woman suddenly move towards the door and wanna get out.
the thing is she's like, nt very near pls.
by right shld be my dad moving out first since he's the nearest to the door.
n followed by me.
n she stood in front of the "buttons", so she shld be pressing "open" for us and be the last to leave.
i mean, basic courtesy?
but she snatched to be the first to leave -.-
her daughter is gd though. she helped us to press the open button instead.
luckily she didnt learn from her mum~

5) becos of point 3, some1 also agreed that i made the right choice of staying to specialise in HR.
because firstly, i am disgusted and pissed by poor attitude ppl.
and thus, i aim to have a career in the future, that allow me to train ppl to have good service attitude.
to me, service is the most impt thing ever in a service industry.
good attitude and service is a must!
so yes, i aim to train ppl with good service and good attitude in service industries!!!
that is also why, i decided that HR isnt that bad actually too =))

alright, i need to go and plan out what i needa do already.
n mus stop doing useless stuff~
needa slowly complete what i have to do~! jiayou~! 6:06 PM

just a short post tonight?
lappy gonna have no batt le anw~
hmm i forgot when did i last posted.
but ytd went out for dinner with uni clique.
first time tried beer, eeee. ahha. some fruit beer~ n had german food.
saw ding dang having her autograph session! her voice was real nice haha.
we managed to catch de last train.  n it rained super heavily on my way back.
walked super slowly cos nearly tripped a couple of times.
drenched like mad~

today had tuition.
goodness, i really suck at bio.
i can feel that my tutee is abit sian when i couldnt ans her qn.
n she kinda like, look down on me/ feel disappointed kind =X
okay i needa work harder >.<

didnt manage to catch any movie cos not alot of slots and those possible slots are full =(
so in de end jus walked ard.
ATE ALOT TODAY =X haha.
but nice! ate fries (i ate alot of potato this wk i think >.<)
and sushi. n TIMBRE!!!!! omg after so long!!!
really v long nv go timbre le hahaha.
got elf to come along and join us =)) duck pizza and buffalo wings~!
n i had my first cocktail! strawberry darquini? haha. nt bad =D
but felt a bit warm at some moments. mayb when i drank too fast lol.
but we didnt manage to wait for the band =(
next time mus go at 9plus for supper so can hear de band at 1030 =D

okies, roughly liddat~
still nt sure if shld go for father's day meal tmr or next wk. mayb see what my parents say tmr~
gt a feeling gotta spend alot again this wk :O
cannot, MUST CONTROL!

n omg, some1, im thinking of the dress we saw! =((
n yes. i haven find my prom-kind of dress! =X
n i haven explore the hairstyles.
n i shld go write down my schedule for this wk.
n i wanna dance =D
n oh! I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE LIKE FINALLY =DDD
n im gonna slp alrdy =)
loves! x) 1:06 AM

wooohs~ tired~! more of legs tired actually haha.
had seniors' camp till ytd, den out for whole day with some1 today! =)
fulfilling day out, satisfied =)
seemed long since we had a full day out, haha.

okays, shall talk about seniors' camp firsT!
hmm~ had work on fri, so went there late.
had SP tekan, then fright night.
the chalet they rented was rather big! but i guess it shld be quite ex~ too big for a class too i think.
unless really everybody go but still~
waited super long for fright night! but i think it was rather scary >.<
luckily my partner was quite good. keep saying "its ok, i go first?"
den did most of the stuff haha. yay~
but for some they purposely target the girls la =X  then no choice~
overall was ok. but by the time we went it was abt 12plus~!
after fright night, went back, and exco wanted supper.
so we went for exco supper~ back at 3plus, bathed and had discussion for our freshmen pageant bash.
exco jiu shi exco. meetings everywhere lolol.
slept at around 4.40? n woke up at 6.15 ohmy~ haha.

surprisingly i managed to survived the whole amazing race ytd!
wah, walked super super lot! all de way from morn around 8plus 9 plus i think.
walked, took bus, took mrt, played games, and we ended at 7plus liddat~
legs ached like mad~ and so tired~ n bag so heavy somemore~
cabbed bac with yiokiang and tayyi.
slept at 10plus haha.

woke up at 7plus le! haha.
den accompanied parents down for their breakfast, den met up w some1 =)
went to coffee&toast again for breakfast~!
after that went esplanade for a while, and den back to marina sq to look for comms ball dress.
didnt seem to really find a nice one eh~
but some1 seemed to agree with toga~! x) so shall try to see if i can find toga dresses x)
concluded that some1 is bad at looking at these stuff hahaha.
so got my girls to accompany me to look for it next wk! x)
shall keep in view this task and continue to look out for it =)
really hope can find a nice and ideal dress~! >.<
feeling stressed abt it, yet kinda looking forward to that day,hehs x)

hmm~ whr else did we go~
walked to bugis~! n went to find sinlin =D
den i think walked ard, n den to clementi mall, grocery shopping and i think bac home~

hmm other updates~
got into HR for specialisation.
decided not to appeal le. cos was thinking, since i alrdy tried by putting bnf as first choice, and i wasnt selected,
i shldn't try again. i mean, i could, but i guess it's gonna be risky.
n i gotta work doubly hard.
n i read de mods and they really feel chim =X n like nt really my kind leh.
so yups! HR it shall be la k?
managing ppl, teaching ppl and training them, i think quite gd leh!
kinda my style ;) hehs =)
n i can work in hotel / tourism sector with that degree also hors? =D

tmr is last dance class! =(
think gonna go for open classes instead of signing up for dance classes now.
cos if not will miss lessons if go for camp/taiwan.
mayb gonna try streetjazz/ funk jazz kinda stuff x)
go for 1 session and see how lo~! =)
n hahaha sinlin told some1 i can dance lalalalla =P

alrights~! thats it x)
think nth much le~
this wk will be working at ntu~! might be boring but gt wanqing shld be ok =D
den~ night time,tue gonna have ktv session w urley =)
uhm~ den mayb look out a bit for the dress on wed at JP before meeting liuye~
n.... ahh!
gonna do hw for tuition =X
and gonna continue hw for taiwan trip~! haha.
and read the recipe books i borrowed  =P

AND ITS JUNE~~~~~~ 9:21 PM

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