sometimes i just cant control myself..
can't stop my mind from thinking about those stuffs..
i know that what i'm hoping for will not come true..
i know it's all my dream.. what i wish will happen.. but it will never happen..
yet i always wish there is miracle..
haish..
maybe it'll be better if something real happens..
then i'll stop thinking about it..

this is so terrible.. =(( 10:47 PM

feel like having a cardigan!
but sometimes still in dilemma whether i shld buy or not >.<

feel like having the wallet!
but not so attracted to the one i saw again..
still looking for nice design ones =X

feel like buying the dress/shirt that i tried today!
the more i look at the pic the more i like it.. =X
but ya..i think i haf too many clothes? =X
RARR!!! =((( 10:18 PM

CT IS OVER~~~~~~ =)
Currently enjoying myself.hehs.
had nice nice subway for lunch today...
walked around jp with elf after he finished his paper =))
didn't shop much..jus realised how different it is to shop with guys n girls.
hahas.
though im very close to elf, asy's still a better shopping partner.hohos!=P
hmm hmm..
smth gd : didn't spend a lot today.hahas =))
tmr gg to spend money though =X buying gifts for sectionmates. plus movie with fuhua-nj ppl! ahhahas..
hmm.. rest for a while more..
mayb i'll start working.... when i feel like it.. hehhehs..
i'll try to get back the feeling of studying after.. tmr bahs =XXX

somehow duno wat to post again..
everytime i feel like posting, i wont be able to..
now i dun have anything to post =X gaga la~ 7:31 PM

about 2 more days to CTs.
i've yet to finish studying. esp for geog.
only touched a teenyweeny bit for human.
claimed to have finished phy.
but to think about it now,i merely understood everything..
but i didn't really memorise any..
i know it'll be too late anws =X
prepared to fail.but then again.. im feeling gaga >.<
yet im nt doing anything. hate myself for this.sucks. 11:59 PM

Horoscope : Cancer
June 21 to July 22

The Cancer girl is:
Reserved, artisitc and loves her family
yupyup! hehhehs~

Your special trait :
You're a mother to everyone
so true!!!! =DDD

Your little secret:
you lack self-confidence
uhoh =X

Best matches:
Pisces, Scorpio, Capricorn
o.O

Best avoided:
Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius
alrights,get away =X

Lucky days:
July 11, 13, 26
woooohhooooo!!!! =D

This month:
What starts as a junk-clearing session around the time of the solar eclipse on July 11,
will turn into a walk down memory lane as you find a pile of interesting old clothes at the back of your closet.
Cancer loves the past, so go for the retro look this month!
It's back to the future!

well wells..
was supposed to be doing work..
but cant help by reading SEVENTEEN =X
n gaga~ it makes me feel like falling in love!!! =XXX
huh huhs~ but this is not the time i guess..
shall seek for my love after A's =))
pisces, scorpio, capricorn guys, please appear after A's! hahas =)) 12:59 PM

hahas.. didn't have any eager stuff to update =X
so didn't thought of updating.. but since xiaoclar wanna see some updates..
here i come..hahas..
went to lib de 3rd consecutive day this week =X
initially supposed to go with jos n xy tmr but there wasn't any sms..
n im quite tired n sick of de lib? so i didn't sms them either..
mayb gg mac tmr to study.. have de feel of gg there..
but i dun wanna eat mac food leh.. guilty after eating long john today >.<
see how uhs.
i may bring my own food there =D buy drink will do! hohohos x)

anws.. today went with AAC =))
actually i realised smth uh..
sometimes we didn't say thanks to each other when we take their things or wat..
occasionally la,but not always..
i mean in AAACHJX.. n it was for the 1st few times that we send msg saying :
"nice day today! realli enjoyed being with u guys! love u all!" n stuff..
but now we dont send such messages..
we dont really blog that much about it. mayb jus brief stuffs? our feelings?
n then photos,de most impt of all.that's it =)
but then if u think again, its nt a bad thing. n that's my purpose of bringing this out =)
though we didn't say thanks, we didn't send those msg after each outing,
it actually means that we're treating each other as real gd frens or even family =D
look.u rarely say thanks to ur parents/family members dont you?
u dont say i love this trip with u guys after gg out with them, even to other countries right?
so this makes me kinda happy =D
i also feel that AAACHJX is now like my another family..
really nice being tgt.. n we're very open to one another..
we share secrets.. we badmouth about others.. we joke.. etc =))
we dont say out those words, but we know that we all matter a lot to one another =))
this is ever better than saying out those words..
cos this means that we all have the same thoughts.. our hearts are linked tgt =DDD

kkies..
enough of blogging =))
may i have a nice dream tonight =D (i dun mind CY's elvin ng =P) 11:52 PM

back from cruise!
wah siao. gained 1 plus,almost 2 kg?!?!?!?!
gotta work on it now that we're back =X
well anws~like wat my aunt keep saying,its a rare chance la.
so jus enjoy, n work on it when we're back o.O
anws.. a few main things experienced on cruise!!! =))
here we go~ enjoy reading! hehhehs =D
anws~ photos up on facebook soon i guess.probably nt today though o.O


1. meals
we board the cruise at ard 6pm on fri? n we left this morn at ard 12..
in this about 2 days, we had about 8 meals!!!!
n its 8 very full meals sia~ including de supper =XX
that explains my 1st sentence of this entry.lol.
all meals, those restaurant kind, we add some dishes.
there's about 6 dishes per meal? n we'll add at least 2 to 3 dishes.lol.
not to say,we have 12 people.so that's probably 1 reason?
n cos their food r really nice indeed =))
didn't regret la.. but i think we're all now kinda sick of restaurant food le =X
but then again, its very worth it.we didn't pay anything, only the 1st $500 we paid for the cruise.
everything is included in the $500. so nt bad la! free "refill" of food leh! hahas =)


2. casino!
managed to get into the casino! hahas.. anws it must be 18 n above.
so im a month away from that. so, it shld be ok in de first placE! hahas =))
wasn't that lucky on the 1st night.. lost all de $80.
but an eye opener. saw a lot of diff types of poker games o.O
anws.. 2nd time was much better! hahas~
the machine we chose was more fun,hahas.
anw i played jackpot luh.hahas..
this 2nd time we played some party one, then i was super lucky for de first time!
its like.there's this jackpot party that u can enter when 3 of the party logo appears.
den this 1st jackpot party, i nearly got all the credits! there's really a lot, all of different credits.
credits as in de casino money. then there's a lot of party boxes.
n i flipped all open and got all de credits,except for 75.damn cool!!!
then i tot all will be like that leh.den i'll earn like siao?!
n i realised its my luck that first time.lol.
didn't manage to score well in between.. lose n win,lose n win..
until de very last time!wanted to stop but my mum ask me to play a little more..
n then i got into the party again,n i won a lot!
there's this multiplier thing, whereby the amount will multiply by 3x.
but this time, its 5x! n i opened de box with de 2nd largest amount, 150 credits!
de largest is 300. so i won 750 credits alr!
den there's this dance thingy,whrby the person will dance n help me get credits.
its a bonus thing. de very 1st time it danced for around 315credits.
den this time, he danced for 600plus credits! =D
den plus many more boxes that i opened. i won a total of 2000++ credits! =DDD
didn't dare to play more afraid of losing.
isn't it always like that? u win n win,n u hope u'll win more,in de end u lost =X
like my godfather. he won around $200 or $400 i think.den he continued.
n in de end he lost $100+ =X
so yups. including the lost of $80 on de first day,in de total i still won $82! woohoo!!! =DDD
damn happy.hahas =DDD enough le la.,hahas =D


3. redang island!
tanned! realli. not only me la. im ok..
think my relatives are more tan than me.hahas.
de sun was really scorching hot that day =X
only went into the water with the goggles for once.
cos after that my aunt realised its dangerous when im wearing contacts,
esp when its de super salty seawater. so yups.
but anws. we went to the beach there.. n went into the sea uh..
n then we saw fishes!!! zebra prints fishes. in de same sea as us!
jus infront of us leh! damn cool! hahas
den ppl started feeding bread and stuff.. den de fishes start coming over.
damn nice!!! rare scene lorhs.seriously. damn cool =D
but then i got a few cuts on my feet due to the rocks >.< wah pain.
had 1 super long cut at my ankle there. den cos im in de sea water,
it hurts a lot at then! now still hurt when touch water though.. all de cuts =X
but anws.. its really cool.. nice nice =))
n we saw some indian couples lovey dovey in de sea?!
so many ppl there luh,den they jus hug n kiss like nobody's business in de sea.
my mum's like disgusted.lol. n i think i saw some unglam thingy!
if im nt wrong.. de guy is so excited that he's ready to make love >.<
wah super gross scene >.< duno why i'll see that.yucks =X


that're de main things on cruise bahs!
de 3 main ones.hahas..
oh! n sunrise sunset! hahas =))
but that, i shall let the pictures do the talking on facebook when i upload them =))
n there's this guy on cruise that seemed to like me so much sia.lol. abit frightened by him in de end =X
he's one of the crew uh...he was 1 of the photographers..
anws de cruise's tactic for earning money:
make sure everybody has 1 individual photo with the mascot, INDIVIDUAL.
dey totally dont allow grp photos for de 1st one luhs..
the mascot is like the door, den u have to take photo then u can move on =X
n anws..back to this guy..
he approached us again in de restaurant on de 1st night..
took photo of me.. ok lo.take lo.lol.
den jus now when we went to view de photos,he's de 1 so called in charge..
den i wanna take the photo of me with the pirate.he's de one with the keys mah.
so mus call him.
den when he opened de cabinet door,he took out the other photo first that de other person requested.
he gave,den took my photo,den didn't wanna give me first leh!
he purposely held it,locked de door first.
den he viewed it, give some comments that i forgot,before giving it to me.
ohoh! before that he also asked me some qns.like sgrean or msian. or wateva =X
anws he's from philippines.
i tot he's quite ok,but in de end he press my neck,like lee kong wee la!
but nt so pain de la.jus a little frightened n disgusted =X
i quickly ran away man.lol.

okok.. i think nth much to say le bahs..
time to work hard for the last week before common test next week? =X
guess i'll still go for the library trip tmr.. gonna slp well n early tonight bahs..
time to stop playing n work hard!!!!! 6:34 PM

another slacked day =X
but happy day =)))
went out with asy today!
only did integration today =X
spend the whole morning reading it, n watching tv too =X haish~
sometimes do wanna slap myself =((
but at least,im sorta making up for it by doing now? =X
stupid solutions still not up on km! =X
anws.. planned to focus on geog tmr.. may either do chem/math at night..
doubt i'll be doing anything on thurs?
shld be packing? =X so yups.. mayb thurs will read thru math, or mayb i'll be marking math..
or maybe i'll jus read chem/geog/econs.. probably econs i think o.O

anws~ went shopping with asy today!!!
went to bugis.had lunch. then we went to shop at bugis street as usual? x)
we shopped there for.. ard 3 hrs or more?! hahas =P
we really almost walked the whole bugis street i guess.n we even walked twice for some shops =P
bought 2 shirts and 2 dresses x)
she bought 2 shirts, 1 dress, 3 pants/shorts? x)
n i got 1 ,she got 2 belts x)
hehhehs!
satisfied =D
quite happy with my flowery dress x) mum says its nice too! ahhas =DDD
but she's gaga about the shirt,as in why buy t-shirts again.lol.
but i realli like those printed tees mahs~ heeheex..
n i like the 2 colours that i bought x)
n the words on it of cos x))

okays..shall continue with integration for now..
doing a few qns,n i'll probably read thru DE?
haven do my testimonial! mayb i'll do that instead of DE o.O





took 335 today.. n on sunday..
today wasn't that bad.. but sunday was quite bad..
on my journey to JE..n on my way back..
i thought of you..
i don't know why.. but memories started flowing back..
thought of a lot of the memories that we once shared..
i thought of how i'd always abandon asy n TCB after band on sat,
how i'd rush home to bathe and change, and to take 198 and go to je lib..
i thought of how funny yet cute we were, with only shopping malls and lib as our hangout area.
i thought of how you'd entertain me with ur jokes,ur actions..
i thought of how you'd care for me..
i thought of how mushy you can get..
i thought of how you'd wanna make me feel secure..
i thought of how you'd wanna protect me in front of the weirdo..
i thought of all ur cheeky behaviour..
i thought of ur first time crying in front of me..
i thought of ur first time lying ur head on my shoulder..
i thought of my first time lying on ur shoulder..
i thought of our first time on the bus.
i thought of your first time stroking ur fingers through my hair..
i thought of all our dates.. not long..not short..not particularly fun..
but at those times.they are all so wonderful,cos it's with you..
i think i'd let go of it alr, its jus that at times,i do think of all these memories..
they really made me smile..
i know u wont see this..i know some other ppl are reading this.lol.
but still.. thanks for being a part in my life..
u might be gone,but these memories seemed to be stuck with me.. n will be.. forever.. 11:49 PM

today was a great day =)
it started off with me switching off my tv cos i wasn't interested (rare k)
n i started reading geog.though not much,quite slowly.but i did sit down n read =)

n it continued to be good as i made my way to fuhua..
rain stopped jus when i wanna go out =))
though that stupid alvin was late.lol.but we had our delicious ban mian/bee hoon kuey =)
long time since we ate that. our fav food at CU.lol =)
n then met darren koh,who still crapped but nice n funny chats =)
den aiyin came,sat a while,n we sat off to fuhua..
n de good thing continues.. as we set up our clar.
glad that there is extra clar left =)

n thankfully, im still able to play! super happy =D
still able to blow 2 octaves.phew~
everything went quite well..
we joined de main band x) warm up song: merry widow.hahas.
sad that we only play for 1 h =(
played merry widow, den video games, den legend of the ancient heroes.
very long nv play le.realli.almost 1 yr bahs i think =X n first time playing after taking out braces.hahas.
nice. realli nice. diff feeling from the playing with braces.
but hand got a little tired after 1st song? too long nv hold clar le =X
n kinda breath through nose instead cos of harmoc =X
but still.. i managed to play rather ok during the prac =)
of cos,not to the standard of the past. but as a first timer after so long,i think im quite satisfied =D
but it wasn't that gd when we played ourselves after the main band was dismissed..
kept squeaking =(( super sad~
in de end kept,n nv play le.. thought we having alumni..but turn out we didn't have..

was supposed to meet miss yeo at 6plus,but it turned out that she was too hungry.
hahas.so she went for dinner,n said she wanna find me at 8plus 9 if i can.
so after considering,i decided to stay on.since its a rare chance that i come bac to fuhua?
so yups.called my mum,told her im staying till 9plus perhaps..
persuaded jiajun,n he decided to stay too =) to chat with miss yeo.hahas..
went out for dinner.. den after that, hang ard till 9,n went to look for ms yeo x)
chat with her n jiajun for super long.hahas. took a 5min break to take alumni photo?
den continued to chat..ate her cake/curry puff.. ms chen came in at times..
band ppl pop out at times..
alvin joined in in de end..
n we chatted from 9 all the way to 11plus?
if not becos we have to go home,i really wonder when we'll end.hahas.really endless topics..
knew about a lot of things today.so wow.shocked =X
but felt really good talking to ms yeo =)
she nv fails to make me learn smth after talking to her =)
n somehow,i think i know where i wanna head to after my jc =)

yeap.she certainly understood me.
i realised too.im a person who is good in a lot of areas.
nt those very gd/pro in it,but i can do well in many areas.
not a very gd thing if u think of it in one way, cos i dun haf a very gd area that i can excel in.
but can be a gd thing too,cos i seem to have more choices.
n yup.that means i need to consider properly wat i wan..n choose my path properly..
n i've tot about it.. after the chat with miss yeo n jiajun..
surprisingly,jiajun did "work" with miss yeo to make me realise,
that music is more of my passion,but i may not be that gd enough to excel in it..
de composers..de arty feel..de music history..de nitty gritty u mus have towards pitch n stuff..
de accuracy of de pitch.. many many things..
i heard of wat they mentioned n im like.. oh no..i dun think i like pursuing these..
i think of jiexiang.. nahs..i dun think im like him..
n i realised..yeahs..i love music..
but the studies.. the work to be done to study that etc..
nahs..its nt smth that i like =))
n for now. hotel management. i think that's wat im looking forward to =)
i shall explore further when im free =))

right now.. A levels is de goal.
i shall work hard towards that..
i'll aim high, but i'll make sure i make a balance out of it..
i'll not just mug everyday.. i think i'll still maintain my usual style.
work, n also play/relax.. i will =)
i will do my very best in this period to score for it.
n then after that,i'll tell myself "i did my best. i have no regrets."
n i'll accept watever the result is..
天无绝人之路
everybody,do believe in that.
there will sure be a path that we can walk.
god will not shut all ur paths.. they'll shut 1,but they'll open up another 1 for u..
don't give up.. press on..
you'll find ur path 1 day..
=)) 12:48 AM

FEELING DOWN DOWN DOWN
DOWN DOWN DOWN
DOWN DOWN DOWN
DOWN DOWN DOWN
DOWN DOWN DOWN
=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( 11:06 PM

felt like crying.. really feel like crying.. again..
haish.. 10:37 PM

arghhhh!!!!!
duno why~ cant seem to do all de math today >.<
cant get all de stupid ans..
suckS!!!!!!!!
n de solutions are not on km,so cant check.
arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11:06 PM

arghhhh!!!!!
duno why~ cant seem to do all de math today >.<
cant get all de stupid ans..
suckS!!!!!!!!
n de solutions are not on km,so cant check.
arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11:06 PM

actually i dont really know wat i wanna post..
but jus felt like posting..
feeling very ga some how =X
i'd no idea wat im feeling ga about..just smth =X
mayb its about my organ fundamentals this wed..
i really hope luck will be on my side such that it wont be too difficult >.<
i really hope i can pass it. with flying colours?
actually,jus pass will do i guess o.O
since they dont have distinction or wateva sort..

mayb its about ct..
somehow i feel im nt very prepared (like duh)
but i seriously duno wat i can do..
i think im having lotsa stuff besides studying...
but when i hv no appt (like tmr) i duno wat to do =X
kinda tired of gg to lib >.<
feel like slacking at home..
or do work at home =X if im able to =X

i shall see how tmr larhs..
but i think most prob i'll be staying at home..
guess i'll spend some time reading my organ.
cant believe it.. its tmr's tmr!!!
all de best to me man!!! >.<
gagaagagagagagagagaga 11:52 PM

smth gd/worth complimenting today: i did math =)
smth bad: i did very slowly + im supposed to do geog today =XXX 2:02 PM

i love miss ang..
i love miss lee too =DD
matilda ang i mean..
clara lee i mean.. x))

to be honest,i love clara lee more =X
but still, 2 of them are great teachers x)
both sweet, 1 cute, 1 hot? =X
both pretty, in their own ways x)
not sure about ms ang,but ms lee is certainly gd in teaching.. x)
"miss" i mean,not "ms", both not married o.O

kinda happy that i actually met all gd form teachers,or civics tutor(wat u called in jc)
pri sch : mrs adelin lim.. mr loo chee choon..
sec sch: mrs tay.. miss yeo =D
jc: miss ang.. miss lee x))

lovely teachers~ they made my life nice (apart from hw =X)
=DDD 12:19 AM

'02.2005' '03.2005' '04.2005' '05.2005' '06.2005' '07.2005' '08.2005' '09.2005' '10.2005' '11.2005' '12.2005' '01.2006' '02.2006' '03.2006' '04.2006' '05.2006' '06.2006' '07.2006' '08.2006' '09.2006' '10.2006' '11.2006' '12.2006' '01.2007' '02.2007' '03.2007' '04.2007' '05.2007' '06.2007' '07.2007' '08.2007' '09.2007' '10.2007' '11.2007' '12.2007' '01.2008' '02.2008' '03.2008' '04.2008' '05.2008' '06.2008' '08.2008' '09.2008' '10.2008' '11.2008' '12.2008' '01.2009' '02.2009' '03.2009' '04.2009' '05.2009' '06.2009' '07.2009' '08.2009' '09.2009' '10.2009' '11.2009' '12.2009' '01.2010' '02.2010' '03.2010' '04.2010' '05.2010' '06.2010' '07.2010' '08.2010' '09.2010' '10.2010' '11.2010' '12.2010' '01.2011' '02.2011' '03.2011' '04.2011' '05.2011' '06.2011' '07.2011' '08.2011' '09.2011' '10.2011' '11.2011' '12.2011' '01.2012' '02.2012' '03.2012' '04.2012' '05.2012' '06.2012' '07.2012' '08.2012' '09.2012' '10.2012' '11.2012' '12.2012' '01.2013' '02.2013' '03.2013' '04.2013' '05.2013' '06.2013' '07.2013' '08.2013' '09.2013' '10.2013' '11.2013' '12.2013' '01.2014' '02.2014' '06.2014' '01.2016' picture design: © Alexander Karpenko 2005 | aikart@pisem.net or AiK-art
skin: slayerette
image font: adine kirnberg script